My Respect For Nigerian soldiers waxed stronger the day I saw one of the most stubborn Chiefs in my community jumping like a frog in one of the army checkpoints around the city (I will not mention the checkpoint). That day I finally realized there is more respect in an Army Uniform than any other uniform in the country.
The one thing that amused me so much about his jump is the way his pot belly was also jumping to the rhythm. His red cap and walking stick couldn’t even save him this time.
Now I was jejely traveling to Zaria the other Night when I received the greatest shock of my life.
We were exactly 30 meters from a military check point and this prettyful fine geh was still on the phone with her boyfriend. It was obvious they were having one of those phone fights.
She had an iPhone 7 with her, I know its one of the most expensive smart phones around today and because the bus was running at a very high speed, I signalled her to end the call for a while since we’ll be hitting the checkpoint in a few seconds.
Omo, see as the lady look me, normally I was holding my small Nokia Torchlight, and so for her mind “Will you mind your business there”? Do you know how much I bought this phone? What’s all this na?
Me sef I code from the way she looked at me. The driver being so reckless, now went and hit one of the drums used as barricades by the military men.
Omo. Just as soon as I heard the sound of the collision and the way the bus jerked, I knew there was something wrong and something must happen.
Within seconds, an army officer strolled down to where our bus is sitting and on seeing us all, he asked for the driver. The driver, knowing the gravity of the offence he’d committed came out with his sorry face and began to apologize.
After a very remarkable romance with the Koboko, the army officer then asked the driver to do frog Jump.
Hey gawd. Come and see the way this man was begging. He begged and begged but the most annoying thing was that the more he begged to be pardoned, the more the officer added some stroke of the koboko in order to curate whatever thing that was worrying him.
As if that was not enough, madam iPhone despite knowing where we were standing and what the driver was going through still went ahead to pick a call right in front of the officer and that was it.
The officer quickly took the phone from her and smashed it against the asphaltic pavement. As if the smashing wasn’t enough, he stepped on the phone with that his rugged boot and finally asked the geh to pick It up and receive her call.
The geh couldn’t believe her eyes, when the driver was finally released, everybody began to tell her sorry, she sef, she begin apologize for the way she acted when I tried to warn her.
Wetin concern me? At least now your madness don cure. You go even thank your god say the man nor wire you with koboko.
That was how we got to zaria. No noise from driver, no receiving of calls, no over speeding by the driver.